Many of us use our phones as a conduit for human connection. If you think about why you love your phone, what comes to mind? My answer always is: My phone helps me keep in touch with family and friends. And for that reason alone, my phone truly is invaluable to me. I really can’t imagine my life without it.

When we crave human interaction and we reach to check texts and social media, we access something sweet like sugar, but not very nutritious: a quick fix of dopamine and a shot of serotonin. We feel really good, really quickly. However, what we really need is broccoli. We need more substance to feed our hunger for human connection: touch, eye contact, laughter, voices.

Like candy, texts and social media can help curb the hunger, but often don’t provide the essential nutrients we need to build fulfilling and satisfying human relationships.

The phone can also be a great distraction from challenging or difficult tasks that require intense focus. It’s easier to respond to a text than to write a dissertation, after all.

Proper screen/life balance is especially important for academics because they are doing difficult and unstructured intellectual work.

My intention here is to talk about how to create healthy boundaries around your phone. The goal is not to get rid of your phone altogether. The goal is to create a relationship with your phone to get what you really need and want in your life.

In 2018—in the middle of writing my dissertation—I read the book “How to Break Up With Your Phone” by Catherine Price. I highly recommend reading this short book. It changed my life for the better in many ways. The exercises laid out here were inspired by the reflections laid out in that book.

Reflect on What You Need

Try answering the following questions in a notebook or journal:

• What do I use my phone for?
• What do I love about my phone?
• What am I craving when I reach for my phone?
• What is missing in my life that I’m using my phone to fill?

When I think about my own answers to these questions, the following word comes to mind: Creativity.

What am I doing on my phone when I’m bored? Looking at photos of beautiful and exotic destinations on Instagram. Creating funny and clever posts with cool filters. Gazing at my photos. Googling the latest fashion trends. Scrolling through art projects on Pinterest. Looking up recipes for my next kitchen masterpiece. My phone is a source of satisfying my innate human desire to create.

In addition to looking for the broccoli instead of sugar, you also want to get the meat that really satisfies and fills you up and helps you build muscle. One way to do this is actually engaging in creative activities yourself–not observing and consuming, but actively creating. Some examples include crafts, like coloring books or knitting. Playing an instrument. Writing short stories. Cooking. Drawing. Gardening. Scrapbooking. What feeds your creative needs? Let me know in the comments.

The point here is to think about: what are you craving? How can you get the broccoli and meat your brain really needs to satisfy that craving?

When was the last time you remember being bored?

I don’t know about you, but for me boredom is largely a thing of the past. Waiting in lines, the elevator, on public transportation–if we ever find a moment of silence, we pull out our phones. When we use the phone as a distraction from uncomfortable and restless boredom, this stifles creativity. Many argue that boredom is actually necessary for creativity.  

Not convinced? Put away your phone and any other media—TV, books, music. Fill a pot full of water, put it on the stove and turn on the burner. Stand there as you watch the water boil. Boring, right? With this empty space, see if you can come up with any solutions to problems or questions that have been bugging you.

Sometimes sitting in silence and boredom—something so rare these days—is exactly what we need to solve that problem in our code, in our analysis, in our writing, and even in our lives.

Take some time to think how you could create something to help you feel more fulfilled in your life. Think about those more substantive projects and connections that can provide nutrients and keep you fuller longer.

Try a Few Strategies

Some easy strategies to try implementing today include:

• Change where you charge it: Charge your phone in the kitchen instead of the bedroom. This is just one way to create a barrier between you and the phone when you’re trying to sleep (or connect with your S.O.)
• Create a “no phone in the bedroom” rule for yourself. (Buy an old-school alarm clock.)
• Wear a watch. So you don’t have to check your phone every time you look at the clock.
• Delete your social media apps. You can still use your computer browser to surf social media, but deleting the apps from your phone creates a barrier to the addicting habit.
• Turn off notifications. Go into the Settings and turn off notifications for all non-essential apps.
• Turn on “Do Not Disturb.”
• Try taking a 24 hour break without your phone at all. How did it make you feel?

After implementing these habits into my life, I sleep and focus much better now. I want to help others find similar peace and grounding. I hope this advice helps you avoid distractions from your smartphone. Perhaps having a less-attached relationship with your phone is one way to embrace boredom and the creativity you’ve always dreamed of.

This Is Your Life

Ultimately, this post isn’t about how to make your life better, how to change yourself, or how to give up your phone. This is an article to encourage you to ask yourself: What do I want my life to look like? I hope that less screen time and more creativity will help you craft the life that you really want: a life that is fulfilling and satisfying with colorful taste and substance.

As humans, we have a natural inclination towards storytelling, which is a fundamental aspect of our existence, survival and evolution as a species. For me and my phone, listening to audiobooks and podcasts helps meet the fundamental human need to engage in storytelling. However, I find that often I am listening to stories, but not telling my own. I hope that by spending a little less time on your phone and a little more time on your writing practice is a way for you to tell your stories and get your stories heard. And despite all of the negative voices in your head that might be telling you otherwise, you do indeed deserve to tell your stories and to have you stories heard.